Comments on: My Story http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/my-story/ Just another WordPress.com weblog Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:21:43 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: drapes http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/my-story/#comment-33 drapes Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:11:36 +0000 http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/?p=29#comment-33 Byron – This is a wonderful story. I do hope to read your epic at some point. For the most part, this was really well written. Here are three things that I’d like you to think about as you write your next major assignment: 1 – Proofread. You writing is very strong. Don’t let it be undercut by laziness in the revision process. There were a number of minor things that you could have caught before submitting this. 2 – Detail/Following Directions. You could have added more detail about why standard means of literacy education didn’t work for you, thereby comparing/contrasting those examples to what you demonstrated as influential to you in this piece. Then you would have had a solid base from which to make critical comments about literacy education as a whole. That was a big piece of the assignment that you didn’t really nail down. 3 – Take the time to read your work out loud sometime. There are sections of your prose that naturally lend themselves to pause (for dramatic effect for example), and by getting a clearer understanding of how you naturally speak, you’ll be able to make better use of commas. Byron – This is a wonderful story. I do hope to read your epic at some point. For the most part, this was really well written. Here are three things that I’d like you to think about as you write your next major assignment:

1 – Proofread. You writing is very strong. Don’t let it be undercut by laziness in the revision process. There were a number of minor things that you could have caught before submitting this.

2 – Detail/Following Directions. You could have added more detail about why standard means of literacy education didn’t work for you, thereby comparing/contrasting those examples to what you demonstrated as influential to you in this piece. Then you would have had a solid base from which to make critical comments about literacy education as a whole. That was a big piece of the assignment that you didn’t really nail down.

3 – Take the time to read your work out loud sometime. There are sections of your prose that naturally lend themselves to pause (for dramatic effect for example), and by getting a clearer understanding of how you naturally speak, you’ll be able to make better use of commas.

]]> By: brentmsu http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/my-story/#comment-22 brentmsu Tue, 23 Sep 2008 13:43:17 +0000 http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/?p=29#comment-22 This is a really good paper Byron. I think it is amazing that you lived in the Republic of Latvia and you had the chance to enhance your writing style while you were there. It shows how much the environment that a person is in affects the way they write and understand literacy. Something that is very similar in our literacy histories is that they both started in a car. I think that is amazing that you read and understood the books that your mom made you read. You should post "The Book of Her" on your blog somewhere so people can read it. Great job Byron. This is a really good paper Byron. I think it is amazing that you lived in the Republic of Latvia and you had the chance to enhance your writing style while you were there. It shows how much the environment that a person is in affects the way they write and understand literacy. Something that is very similar in our literacy histories is that they both started in a car. I think that is amazing that you read and understood the books that your mom made you read. You should post “The Book of Her” on your blog somewhere so people can read it. Great job Byron.

]]> By: Grant Goodrich http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/my-story/#comment-21 Grant Goodrich Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:51:28 +0000 http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/?p=29#comment-21 This is a great improvement over the rough draft. You're style of writing is very descriptive and the whole paper flows nicely. You did a great job going into detail which helped make the paper interesting to read to the end. I read the Iliad and Odyssey and found them confusing too, but never thought to check wikipedia for an explanation. Nice job. This is a great improvement over the rough draft. You’re style of writing is very descriptive and the whole paper flows nicely. You did a great job going into detail which helped make the paper interesting to read to the end. I read the Iliad and Odyssey and found them confusing too, but never thought to check wikipedia for an explanation. Nice job.

]]> By: mardeus http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/my-story/#comment-20 mardeus Mon, 22 Sep 2008 22:45:07 +0000 http://bvalentine.wordpress.com/?p=29#comment-20 I love the way you write! It is very good. I like how you setup your paper it was very engaging. I would like to read some of your stories, they sound really interesting. I have gone through a similar experience as you did with reading in the car. I have also read the odyssey, and truly thought I was the only one who liked it. I love the way you write! It is very good. I like how you setup your paper it was very engaging. I would like to read some of your stories, they sound really interesting. I have gone through a similar experience as you did with reading in the car. I have also read the odyssey, and truly thought I was the only one who liked it.

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