Bvalentine's Weblog

20 Dead Bodies and a Red Piece of Paper

bvalentine — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 04:33:41 +0000

As Timothy stirred cereal around in his bowl pretending to eat, his mother raced in and out of the sterile kitchen packing his bag for middle school.

“Its time to go honey,” she said while whisking away his uneaten breakfast. “The bus is almost here!”

Timothy slouched out of his chair and donned the miniature backpack thrust upon him. In a moment he was out of the kitchen, indistinguishable from countless others, being steered by his mother out the back door and towards the bus stop. The morning air was crisp and chill and Timothy could see his breath slightly against the darker background of the neighborhood. His mother began frisking him over, making sure he had his mittens and school supplies. She suddenly stopped with a look of alarm on her face.

“Oh my God, I forgot! Wait right here and tell the bus to wait if it comes, I will be right back!”

Timothy’s mother rushed away back towards the house and disappeared inside. Timothy stood on the grey sidewalk, a tiny figure bundled up and still. He heard the distant rumbling of a great engine and soon could see the large yellow school bus approaching around the curve of his suburban street. An instant later he heard the front door open and his mother emerged carrying a small brown object. She rushed to him as the bus pulled to a stop, its brakes hissing their annoyance at the delay.

“You almost forgot this again,” his mother gasped, thrusting the case into his arms.

It was a holster made of fine brown leather. Barely visible from one end was the butt of a pug-nosed revolver. The way in which the leather seemed to cradle the gun made it look dainty to an observer but to Timothy it was heavy and cold. He stared at it blankly. The bus doors opened and the kind-hearted driver called out something Timothy didn’t hear.

“I remember when I first started I would forget mine all the time,” said the woman driver again, louder this time.

Timothy looked up at her, his attention returning. She smiled a big wide smile which made her look kind and loving and slightly like a toad.

“You remember eventually.”

She patted her waist on which was clipped a massive pistol. After being kissed repeatedly by his mother Timothy got on the bus and was soon on his way to school.

As the bus drove off, Timothy sat down at a completely free row of seats and moved to sit at the window. He watched the small identical houses go past; their lawns covered in wet Fall leaves. After a few stops, another boy who had sat next to Timothy on the bus before, got on. He moved slowly down the bus, judging where the stigmas of childhood society would permit him to sit free from scorn or threat. Finally he sat, once again, next to Timothy. The bus lurched onwards. They had exchanged words in the past, even compared guns once. The other boy, Michael, had a Beretta. It was lightweight and his parents thought it best for him so he could wear it comfortably during Sports class.

Timothy began to think about Michael’s gun and he drifted into one of his commonplace daydreams. He remembered hearing there was still debate amongst law makers whether or not personal defense arms should be worn in classes such as sports. Only until recently firearms were permitted to be removed during what the government called, the “S” times: Sleep, Sports, Sex and Sickness. But now, with newer safety methods, it was required to wear them during “permitting non-water” sports. Timothy was drawn back to his surroundings for a moment as he watched his breath fog the glass of the window. Promptly, Timothy’s inattention caught up and he started recalling the speech given by the man who came to visit the school. He was from some government program Timothy couldn’t remember the name of. The man spoke about gun control and how it was law that everyone capable carried a personal defense arm. Timothy remembered he kept saying studies showed crime went down dramatically if “we all bear arms.”

As the school bus stopped at a light Timothy focused again on his breath on the window and behind it he could see the blurred red illumination of the traffic light. The color then changed to green and it reminded him about the “Red/Green” program. Every year the school had a big assembly where the teachers talked about it. It was in case something should go wrong at the school or someone had to fire their gun. An alarm would sound and everyone had to stay in their classroom and lock the doors. If there was anything wrong in the room you should slide a red piece of paper under the door out into the hall. If everything was alright, then you slid out a green piece of paper. Timothy remembered he had once asked a question at the end of the talk. He had asked what happened before everyone carried a gun. The man told him, “Terrible, terrible things.”

The bus soon came to a stop outside the school. Children screamed and giggled as they got off the bus. Timothy waited for a gap in the line and then got out. The driver smiled at him again and wished him well. He nodded a thank you and stepped out. Soon he was sitting in his classroom at his desk, his gun slung around his waist. The bell rang and class began. His teacher was a nice older lady. She was plump faced and wore think black rimmed glasses. She took attendance by scanning the room and asking if anyone knew where so-and-so was. Before long, class was started and the blackboard was covered in math. Timothy watched with glazed eyes. In truth, he often didn’t pay attention, but not because he was lazy or slow. Timothy was exceptionally smart. Classes often bored him. He liked to think about other things, like why did the pilgrim’s hats have buckles on them, or why is there a light in the refrigerator and not in the freezer?

Then there was screaming, confusion, tables falling over and a loud bang. The teacher was franticly running across the room shrieking, even more children were screaming and jumping out of their seats. Timothy was ripped from his thoughts. He had no idea what had just happened or what was going on now. He saw tables, the teacher kneeling, blood, and another adolescent with his gun drawn. The teacher reached out for the child and in an instant he fired. The teacher crumpled to the floor. Other children had their guns out; the room was filled with earsplitting thuds over and over again. Timothy watched, shocked for an instant, as students fell and blood spattered against the windows like smashed fruit. The room was filled with so much noise he couldn’t hear anything. The girl in front of him was desperately trying to take her gun out of the holster when her neck exploded. Blood and flesh misted the air and splattered over Timothy. Her scream turned into a gurgling. A bullet ripped through one of the great windows covered with gun safety posters causing it to shatter, sending glass falling like a beautiful cascade down on the classroom.

Timothy was forced backwards off his chair. He hit the floor hard and his desk came crashing down on top of him. Someone had knocked him over as they fell. All Timothy could see was the ceiling and the top of his table. He franticly pushed it off, smearing the bloody mist on it like a finger painting. He saw a boy run past towards the closed door but he tripped or was grabbed or shot, Timothy didn’t know which, but Timothy saw him fall. The alarm was sounding now, its wailing filling the already chaotic air. Timothy awkwardly pulled his gun from his holster. It was suddenly warm and light. The room was more still now but still ear-splittingly loud. Timothy pointed his gun at the closest thing moving and without a second thought pulled the trigger.

He had expected the sound, but still his eyes closed tight instinctively, and the recoil rocked his arm. He stayed lying down, firing at anything and everything until finally his gun wouldn’t fire any more. He laid crying and trembling on the floor of a now motionless room. He gripped his gun tightly and sobbed. He twitched suddenly and uncontrollably. He crawled up against a cupboard and looked at the room. It was horrid. He quickly looked away to the wall but even that was ghastly. He didn’t know what to do. He heard strange sounds above the alarm coming from other classrooms close by. He dropped his gun to the floor.

Slowly he found himself doing the only thing he thought he should. He moved towards the teacher’s desk, on which were laying two colored pieces of paper. He looked only at the paper, his eyes so blurred by tears it seemed the paper was moving like a river.

He took the red piece tightly in his hands and moved towards the closed door.

Out in the hallway it was still and clean. Neat rows of lockers covered the walls broken only by symmetrical gaps for classroom doors. A few backpacks and pencils lay on the ground. The wall at the far end was covered with large handmade posters advertising spirit week and other activities. A large flat screen mounted in the corner displayed a welcome sign which periodically switched to pictures and school information. Even the blaring alarm itself seemed in place with its dependable rhythm and pitch. Suddenly a red piece of paper spun excitedly out from under a door and into the hallway, disturbing the calm. It flipped once over itself, caught on the pristine air it disturbed when shoved out from under the door. It floated down onto the polished floor peacefully and settled. The image on the flat screen TV changed to show a small middle school baseball team smiling down on the hall. The rest of the hall was still. The calmness was disturbed only occasionally by other little pieces of paper being slid out into the hallway. All of them were red.

Posted in Uncategorized

Satire

bvalentine — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 04:29:58 +0000

“I can set a braggart quailing with a quip,

The upstart I can wither with a whim;

He may wear a merry laugh upon his lip,

But his laughter has an echo that is grim!”

Posted in Uncategorized

XD Chain Letter

bvalentine — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 03:16:17 +0000

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare
and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal
electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion
chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that
if you send them on, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her
off to the travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe
that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send
this email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here!

If I scroll down this page and make a wish, every Playboy
Bunny in the magazine’ll visit me! What a bunch of B.S.!
So, basically, this message is a big ***** to all the people
out there who have nothing better to do than to send me
stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter
leprechauns will come into my apartment and terrorize me in
my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by
Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year
2000, it’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for
longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. If you’re
going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing.

I’ve seen all the “send this to 50 of your closest friends,
and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a Nickel from some “omniscient being” forwards about
90 times. I don’t give a damn! Show a little intelligence and
think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending
out forwards. Chances are it’s your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:
(scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they’ll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!
STOP!!!!
Wasn’t that fun?
Hope you made a great wish

Now, to make you feel guilty, here’s what I’ll do. First of
all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people in the next 5
seconds, you will be assaulted by a mad goat and thrown off
a high building into a pile of manure. It’s true! Because,
THIS letter isn’t like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here’s how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a
plot on your life.

*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you
for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there
is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no
arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy’s life
could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar
will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy
from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have
absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a
complete load of B.S. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in
the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder – if you accidentally send
this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This
is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
probably not as many sad jerks with nothing better to do. So this
is how it works… Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She
had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then
tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was
gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying
out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail
and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and
went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
eternity.

This Could Happen To You Too!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just
send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything
will be okay.

Chain Letter Type 4
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to all
your friends.

FRIENDS:
A friend is someone who is always at your side.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of
poop, and your breath smells like you’ve been eating
catfood.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly
as a hat full of road apples.
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you’ve soiled
yourself.
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry
about your sad, sad life.
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they
really think you should be mugged by mad goats, then thrown
to vicious dogs.
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then
gets the check and leaves and doesn’t speak much English… no,
sorry that’s the cleaning lady.
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he
wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don’t, you’ll never have sex ever
again!

The point being?
If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If
it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by making them
feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who’s
been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour
is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward this
mail, otherwise you’ll end up like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you’ll
find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning.

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: chain, chain letter, funny, letter

20 Dead Bodies and a Red Piece of Paper DRAFT

bvalentine — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:00:28 +0000

As Timothy stirred cereal around in his bowl pretending to eat his mother raced in and out of the sterile kitchen packing his bag for middle school.

“Its time to go honey,” she said while whisking away his uneaten breakfast. “The bus is almost here!”

Timothy slouched out of his chair and donned the miniature backpack thrust upon him. In a moment he was out of the kitchen, indistinguishable from countless others, and being steered by his mother out the back door and towards the bus stop. The morning air was crisp and chilled and Timothy could see his breath slightly against the darker backgrounds of the neighborhood. His mother began frisking him over making sure he had his mittens and school supplies. She suddenly stopped with a look of alarm on her face.

“Oh my God, I forgot! Wait right here and tell the bus to wait if it comes, I will be right back!” Timothy’s mother rushed away back towards the house and disappeared inside. Timothy stood on the grey sidewalk, a tiny figure bundled up and still. He heard the distant rumbling of a great engine and soon could see the large yellow school bus approaching around the corner of his suburb. An instant later he heard the front door open and his mother emerged carrying a small brown object. She rushed to him just as the bus pulled up, its brakes hissing their annoyance at the delay.

“You almost forgot this again,” his mother gasped, thrusting the case into his arms. It was a holster made of fine brown leather. Barely visible from one end was the butt of a pug-nosed revolver. The way in which the leather seemed to cradle the gun made it look dainty to an observer but to Timothy it was heavy and cold. He stared at it blankly. The bus doors opened and the kind hearted driver called out something but Timothy didn’t hear.

“I remember when I first started I would forget mine all the time,” said the woman driver. Timothy looked up at her, his attention returning. She smiled a big wide smile which made her look loving and slightly like a toad.

“You remember eventually.”

She patted her waist on which was clipped a massive pistol.

After being kissed repeatedly by his mother Timothy got on the bus and was soon on his way to school.

As the bus drove Timothy sat down at a completely free row of seats and moved to sit at the window. He watched the small identical houses go past; their lawns covered in wet Fall leaves. After a few stops another boy who had sat next to Timothy on the bus before got on. He moved slowly down the bus, judging where the stigmas of childhood society would permit him to sit free from scorn or threat. Finally he sat once again next to Timothy. The bus lurched onwards. They had exchanged words in the past, they had even compared guns once. The other boy, Michael, had a Beretta. It was light weight and his parents thought it best for him so he could wear it comfortably during Sports class.

Timothy began to think subconsciously about Michaels gun and he drifted into one of his common place daydreams. He remembered hearing there was still debate amongst law makers whether or not personal defense arms should be worn in classes such as Sports. Only until recently firearms were permitted to be removed during, what the government called, the “S” times; sleep, sports, sex and sickness. But now, with newer safety methods, it was required to wear them during “permitting non-water” sports. As the bus rolled on Timothy began remembering the speech given by the man who came to visit the school. He was from some program Timothy couldn’t remember the name of. He spoke about gun control and how it was law that everyone capable carried a personal defense arm. Studies showed crime went down dramatically if we all carry guns. There was some evidence Timothy remembered but his mind moved quickly onwards. He thought about the classes he had gone to about how to store a gun safely.

There were great concerns for safety if a firearm was somehow accidentally discharged during class or if perhaps a loosing team was enraged by their loss and in the heat of the moment something happened. But so far nothing had happened. People all across the land were safer because of gun control…

“I can set a braggart quailing with a quip,

The upstart I can wither with a whim;

He may wear a merry laugh upon his lip,

But his laughter has an echo that is grim!”

Posted in Uncategorized

Gun Control

bvalentine — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:33:39 +0000

Imagine a society where everyone had a gun. You have a gun, your parents have a gun, your neighbor has a gun, and even your grandmother carries a gun. The reason for this is simple; safety. This super-armed race is also super-safe because everyone knows that everyone else is armed. The second focus of my satire will be the hopeless and implausible programs enacted which try to stop such an event from happening.

My story opens with a typical school day in a typical suburban house in Typicalsville, America. A mother prepares breakfast for her young child before he catches the bus off to middle school. The mother gets the young boy ready and packed and they head out the door ready to get into the school bus. As the bus approaches the mother realizes the son has forgotten an important item for school. She runs back to the door and immerges again holding a small brown object; a pig-nosed revolver in a new leather holster. She hands the loaded gun to her middle school aged child who boards the bus. The bus driver smiles and remarks about forgetting their own pistol sometimes which the bus driver then holds up and shows the mother; a Colt-45. The child is driven away to school where he sits next to his friend (who like all the other children also has a gun). They reach school and walk into the building in which they pass through metal detectors. Naturally every child “beeps” as they walk through. However one other child they do not know walks through and does not set of the alarm. The guards escort him away asking him where his gun is and explaining the importance of gun safety and gun control. We overhear them discussing how if everyone has a gun everyone is safe because everyone has the power to end life thus no one will commit crime because they know it will end only one way. They also talk loudly about how gun control now requires all capable people to carry a gun by law.

The children move inside, taking of their jackets, nervously catching glances of and comparing others pistols. The make their way into the hall because today there is a government safety rally. A government official has come to talk to the children. He is dressed professionally. He gives a short speech describing how the laws require that when you enter this year of school you must begin carrying a gun if you can. He then goes on to discuss what to do in the unlikely event that there is a shooting in the school. He talks about the “Green Paper/Red Paper” rule and how if there is a shooting that the students should lock their door and slide a green piece of paper under it into the hall if everything in the room is alright and a red paper if they have problems. Some children shall raise their hands and ask questions. The main character shall raise his and ask the question “What happened before gun-control was enforced.” The man shall fall grim and say “Terrible things.”

The story continues on but culminates at a point where in a class a student shoots another. The exact details of how this will happen I have not set yet but this action causes a chain reaction in which every student in the room shoots another and the teacher until in the end only our little boy is left alive after shooting his friend to stay alive. The boy looks around the room full of bodies and blood splattered walls and slowly walks over to the door. As the alarm sounds other gunshots are heard down the hall. The reader will then be withdrawn from the room and shown the hallway of closed doors which slowly, one by one, all have red papers pushed under them out into the hall.

The satire of this piece is hopefully clear; gun enforcement, or rather the total opposite of what we view gun control today, would result in safely only until one event which would cause massive death. And also that a defense against such an event happening would be nonexistent. Much like the mindset during the cold war regarding nuclear weapons, a relative safety would be enforced rather than created and that safety would be poised constantly on the verge of insanity. The irony would be clear in that in the end the system put in place to protect would ultimately destroy everything. Working humor into the piece will be a little harder but with some thought is plausible.

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: gun

Oh Brave New World, What Have You Become?

bvalentine — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 00:17:03 +0000

One of the greatest creations of mankind is his control of himself and his fellow man. Throughout time this system of control has gone by many names and has had many different styles but is known collectively as Government. At times governments have acted in behalf of their citizens and in other instances they have oppressed and controlled. We each agree to our social contract by living in a country yet we are never asked if we agree or even truly informed of the rules. Yet we live by the laws in hope that they will promote our safety and standard of living. Society’s greatest creation has also been its most terrible and at times people have spoken out against governments and warned us of what may lay ahead. Kurt Vonnegut was a writer who critiqued society and explored the possibilities of what it might one day become. Using satire he expounded on the phrase “All men are created equal” and gave his own view of what a society which takes that to the extreme may become.

In his short story Kurt Vonnegut depicts a society which forcibly handicaps its citizens thus making everyone equal. Dancers wear weights; the intelligent are forced to wear earplugs which make distracting sounds every half minute to scare away any higher level thoughts. Even the TV anchorman is selected because of his terrible stutter. All this is controlled by the Handicapper General, a government official charged with enforcing equality. The great irony of this society is shown poignantly through the sad lives of the main character and his wife. For brief moments we see that the husband has some sense of the injustice of the society yet still abides by the laws due to compliancy and knowledge of the punishments enforced by the government. At one point his wife suggests that he removes some of the weight from bags he is forced to wear around himself yet he refuses even though they are home alone because he believes that the simple act of removing some weight may be the beginning of social unrest, and he fears the repercussion if he is found. Despite that this story is meant to point out the beauty in free life is also exaggerates this freedom. The man who escapes from prison and is meant to embody freedom is said to be seven feet tall and looks like the God Thor from ancient Norse Mythology. He performs impossible feats of strength and agility and he even commands the TV viewers to worship him, a point meant to emphasize our nations zealous and sometimes overlooking love of freedom. The irony is also shown when the Handicapper General appears and kills this Thor and his new lover. The General herself has no handicaps what so ever and is therefore herself free and better than the rest of the people she controls. The hypocrisy of her existence is stark. Kurt Vonnegut’s critique of our society is not entirely legitimate however because he goes to the very extremes of the spectrum. I am not saying that a society like this could not exist one day but it is unlikely because thankfully some people fight for our freedoms and help keep others aware.

The movie adaptation of Harrison Bergeron differs from the short story in a number of ways yet still attempts to capture its essence. The movie goes more in-depth about the lives of the controlled masses and the secret truth behind what they see on their television. The movie also offers a stark portrayal of the society and points out the seeming lack of hope there is for it to change. The main characters who are also lovers in the end are separated, one mentally destroyed and the other commits suicide from lack of belief that life is worth living. It reminds me greatly of the book 1984 in which the main characters are also forced apart and crushed back into conformity. I think they changed the story line of the movie to offer a more stark realism of life and that this change worked effectively. I do not think the movie used humor as effectively as the story yet it sacrificed this to offer a greater perspective of irony and lack of hope.

They are both effective critiques of society, yet I feel the movie is better because it explains more the true despair of the lives of the people who are unknowingly controlled.

Posted in Uncategorized

Musical Technology Blog

bvalentine — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:40:31 +0000

The mathematics of music is complex. Pythagoras of ancient Greece was one of the first to look into the workings behind the sounds we hear and what he discovered was astounding. Today the science of music has improved dramatically and technology as in many cases become an integral part of sound. Only one hundred years ago recordings of music were uncommon. One of the greatest changes to happen to the musical world has been the switch from acoustic to analogue to digital. Today music is literally traveling in the air all around us in the form of waves and through cables we cannot see. Every car comes with a radio and there are now countless ways to access music across the world. The internet provides bands and artists with a way to connect and reach out to potential listeners. Streaming websites offer instant access to music for free while programs such as iTunes provide a user with virtually limitless music available for purchase and download. News headlines in the 90s were dominated by Napster and other such sites which for the first time introduced free music downloading and sparked huge legal debates. Other sites, such as Myspace, have now dedicated sections to purely musical artists and these streaming sites offer much more than just the music. A user can access record label information, read bios, see tour dates, buy merchandise and much more! These sites also allow for local bands that do not have corporate funding to kick start their career as they are free and also widely used. Artists today also use their internet sites to portray an image of the band. Just like material advertising, digital advertising is critical today for the musician to promote sales. Digital radio is even immerging today with cars radios now displaying the name of the currents song playing as well as other information deemed important by the station. Music storage has dramatically changed as well with technology introducing mp3 players and iPods which can hold thousands of songs in your pocket! Records have all but disappeared today and are only still used commonly in the DJ music world.

Recording music has never been easer. One hundred years ago gramophones were the best way to record sound and they were quiet, scratchy sounding, very large and bulky, fragile and expensive as well! Today anyone can have a recording studio in their basement with the capability to produce high quality recordings. Technology has come so far as to even replace some instruments and create new ones! The Theremin is an instrument which senses the electric field around a human body and responds to changes in the fields intensity by changing the sound it produces. It is also the first musical instrument invented which is played without being touched. Synthesizers have also replaced many pianos in recordings today and drums have been turned into a keypad. All these changes and advancements show how technology has changed our perception about music and has forever become an important part of music.

Posted in Uncategorized

Material Culture

bvalentine — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 03:38:13 +0000

The ways in which Technology has entrenched itself into our national identity can be seen everywhere. Walking through a college or high school campus is much like a trip to an electronics store. Cell phones, iPods and various arrays of handheld devices are everywhere. Even the lines defining the purpose of technology have become blurred. One can listen to music or play a videogame right after taking a business call on their iPhone or check latest videogame headlines on their Blackberry. Americans are now using technology as a convenience and even as an escape from the real world rather than as a tool. From Fantasy Sports, Virtual Pets and even completely online communities furnished with fully customizable “Avatars” technology has seeped into our lives. Studies even show that today’s generation is better at using its thumbs than its forefingers! Technology even influences our language. As we move further away from the old mechanical attitude to a new digital world common phrases such as “all of the bells-and-whistles” are replaced with updated versions such as “all of the widgets and extras.” One cannot type “wow” into Google today without returning a page for the immensely popular online computer game World of Warcraft. And several acronym phrases are now accepted as proper words such as “lol” (standing for Laugh Out Loud) and “brb” (indicating Be Right Back). On the side of hardware our technology has moved with the times becoming even more powerful, chock-full of extras and cheap thrills while still forcing itself deeper into the lives of Americans. However, with all the truths about technologies influence on us, we tend to overlook the opposite relationship; the impact our culture has on technology.

Because of our own desires and demands our society’s perceptions have influenced technology greatly. Certain expectations are attached to our technology and while some of them are subconscious, others are blatant demands. Smaller, faster and cheaper are some of the core consumer demands but qualities such as integration and convenience are also sought after. The demands of today’s society mold the market and bleed though to the drawing boards of designers. Our wants and demands influence the actual shape and specifications of products. One such device which exemplifies our nation’s material culture is the USB Flash Drive. The Universal Serial Bus Flash Drive is a flash memory data storage device integrated with a USB connecting interface which allows it to plug into any standard USB outlet. The simple program which runs a Flash Drive is compatible with virtually every modern operating system including Windows, Mac OS X, Linux, and other Unix-like systems. The device stores data on a solid state chip inside which can be written on and over virtually countless times. The most common use of a Flash Drive is to transport and store personal files such as documents, pictures and videos. There are no restrictions as to what file types can be saved on the drive and the user is only constricted by the data size limit of the drive. The name Flash Drive however is deceptive as “nothing actually moves in a flash drive: the term drive originated because a computer reads and writes flash-drive data using the same system commands as for a mechanical disk drive”[1]. Flash Drives offer many advantages over other portable storage devices, particularly the floppy disk. They are more compact, operate faster, hold more data, have a more durable design and operate more reliably due to their lack of moving parts. “IBM was the first North American seller of a USB flash memory drive, and marketed an 8 MB version of the product in 2001 under the “Memory Key” nickname”2. Today you can purchase 8GB and 16GB drives for about the same price as the first models (That’s 1000x more storage capacity!). The drastic improvement in capacity is due to the success and ease of production for the devices and also the demands of society.

My USB Flash Drive measures approximately 6 cm x 2 cm x 1 cm. It resembles the classic Halloween gravestone shape as a rectangle with one end becoming a semicircle. Its smooth black plastic case is rounded at the corners, perhaps to provide more comfort while in your pocket. It is deceptively light to the touch and seems to weigh that of a quarter dollar coin. It is hermetically sealed giving it a very professional appearance. On one of the two largest faces there is a depression in the plastic in which is exposed another lower layer of the device. This is also plastic yet creamy white. This creamy white plastic lights up red due to a small LED light underneath it when plugged into a computer. If one presses down with their thumb on this inner layer and slides it to one direction the USB connector slides out smoothly from inside one end. The part of the USB connector which slides out to plug into the computer is metal and very shiny yet not reflective. The connector is extendable/retractable and is stored inside the device when not in use again making the Flash Drive smooth and comfortably portable. When extended the Flash Dive’s dimensions increase to 7 cm x 2 cm x 1 cm. The “button” indentation to slide out the connector is a depression meaning the USB is very contoured, comfortable and aerodynamic. On the same side of the USB as the button depression is writing displaying the manufacture’s name and storage capacity of the device. The font is a futuristic style, white, all capitols and looks to be about pt. 8 in size. The letters “CUZER” appear on the side followed by “8GB” which is bolded. On the smooth curve of the end opposite to the extendable/retractable connector is a small metal ring connected to the Flash Drive. This ring is a miniaturized version of the popular key rings often used to hold sets of keys together. This again suggests that the Flash Drive was designed with mobility in mind.

Despite that this particular USB Flash Drive is fairly plain in design the market is not limited to such bland styles. On several websites, easily found through Google, one can order a custom made USB Flash Drive shaped in any way virtually possible. Hidden inside pens, shaped like small Coke-a-Cola® Bottles or even Samurai swords! One Japanese maker even produces a USB Flash Drive resembling ikura sushi, a highly popular native food in Japan. Other companies offer wristbands with Flash Drives built in, lanyard Flash Drives, Flash Drives with laser pointers and even simple calculators with Flash Drives attached are available on today’s market. Seemingly even convenience and superfluous consideration has been taken into account. The availability of these options though illustrates to us much more about today’s society than what is obviously perceptible; the technology we use is affected by our traditions and non-technologic values. The benefits of a sushi shaped Flash Drive over a standard are nonexistent from the critical viewpoint but not so from the emotional. One’s love for sushi can be transferred onto the Flash Drive and thus lends a much deeper level of attachment and satisfaction from the Flash Drive. Similarly, toady’s person is mobile, but not in the sense of the word relative to nomadic cultures or aimless wonderers. We are all seemingly rushing from one event to the next on our Segway listening to music on our iPod and talking on our cell-phones. It seems logical we should also be carrying around gigabytes of computer data with us! Thus the physical size Flash Drives has decreased while there capacity for storing data has exploded! I do not require 8GB of space on my Flash Drive but I feel better knowing that it is there and available should I need it. Most technology is created now with these feelings in mind. Thus we see how our culture, society and traditions influence machinery around us and expose the subtle truth; technology is a reflection of ourselves.

[1] “USB Flash Drive.” Wikipedia. 14 Oct. 2008. Wikipedia Foundation. 14 Oct. 2008 .

[2]“History of USB Flash Drive.” Supermediastore. 14 Oct. 2008 .

Posted in Uncategorized Tagged: Material Culture

3 – 1 = 2

bvalentine — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:52:23 +0000

Can there be a resolution?

What is one supposed to do?

Whilst one of three faces dissolution,

When one heart belongs to two.

Posted in Uncategorized

The USB

bvalentine — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 00:12:15 +0000

Cell phones, iPods, xBox, Laptops, Bluetooth, 3G, MacBook, PS2, Wii, PS3, Blackberry, Game Cube, Flash Drive, iPhone,

The list goes on and on. The world is still heavily divided between the rich and poor and technologically advanced and those let behind. However, American society is at the forefront of technology use and it has become an integral part of our mind set and culture. Studies even show that today’s generation is better at using its thumbs than its forefingers! Certain expectations are attached to our technology as well. Some of them are subconscious, others are blatant demands. Smaller, faster and cheaper are the main drives but things such as ergonomically enhanced etc. One such device which exemplifies our cultures crowing need is the USB Flash Drive.

http://www.supermediastore.com/usb-flash-drive-memory-jump-drive-history-of-usb-flash-drives.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USB_flash_drive

Posted in Uncategorized